I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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