We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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