these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Come see our sink grown plant.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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