Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
