So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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