i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
