I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
