He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
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