im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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