So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
