Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
