so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
