So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
