he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize