1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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