I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
