The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
