too bad you live with your parents still
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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