this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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