Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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