Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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