SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
