and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
