I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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