so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
