im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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