end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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