i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize