There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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