My brain says no but my pants say off.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
