Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
