please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
