i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
My feet surprised me
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