I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
