Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
