No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
