I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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