I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
