you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
