She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
