Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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