I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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