Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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