just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
