All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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