and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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