i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
