"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
