As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
