Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
There are leaves in my underwear?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
