So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
too bad you live with your parents still
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
