Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
