i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
