I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
