I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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