Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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