That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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