youre lurking in front of me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
