Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
