overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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