C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize