the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Randomize
